Happy birthday, sweet Madeline

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

Madeline McNeel Beavers has made her incredible entrance into the world!  

Thursday morning, May 19, I woke up for one of my usual bathroom trips around 2:30 a.m.  When I came back to bed, I couldn't sleep - I was having contractions about 5-7 minutes apart.  I sat there in bed, wide awake, counting...timing...anticipating...praying...when finally, around 3:40, BOOM!  My water broke with a vengeance.  Miss M was on the way, ready or not (and one day prior to her due date.  So punctual...so my kid).

I shot out of bed and ran to the bathroom, leaving a very confused and concerned husband trailing behind me.  As I sat there and inhaled the realization of what was happening, my emotions overcame me.  I was relieved, excited, scared, and OVER THE MOON happy.   This was the day that I would become a mother to this exceptional being. I showered quickly while Derek packed his bags and called the doctor before we headed out the door to Wake Med - Cary.

4:15 a.m. - 39 weeks, 6 days

We stopped by a convenience store on the way, as nothing else was open (we knew this because I made Derek call 2 McDonald's and 1 Bojangles while I showered).  Big Mama needed food before stepping into labor and delivery where I knew they wouldn't let me eat (for those of you who know me when I'm hungry, you understand why this was a concern).  We chowed down on a blueberry muffin, pop tarts and water.  Breakfast of Champions!  All the while, I was kindly asking Derek to SPEED - my contractions were getting stronger and were only 2 minutes apart. Not to mention, the amniotic fluid was still coming! 

We finally arrived at the hospital, checked in and headed back to our labor room.  This was really happening.  I recall feeling nothing but excitement in between the contractions. Around 7, I was almost completely effaced and 3 cm. dilated, so I requested my Epidural.  This is the greatest invention known to man. Wow - the relief was almost instant.  I was nervous about the big needle and how this would feel, but trust me gals, it's nothing to be afraid of!    


So, I hung out in the bed with tingly legs for the morning and into the afternoon.  We had plenty of visitors to keep us company, which helped the day progress.  In what seemed like the blink of an eye, I was 7 cm.  Madeline was doing some good work in there!  

Unfortunately, this was short lived because I stayed at 7 for a couple of hours, so the doctor put me on Pitocin.  Within two more hours, I was at 10, ready to push!  So, at 4:15, I started pushing (I think this was the point where the nurse said that Madeline would probably be in the 6-7 lb. range...see more of this "guess" later on in the story).  So we pushed.  And pushed.  And changed positions.  And pushed some more.  5:30 came and went.  6:30 came and went.  Still pushing.  Finally at 7:15, the doctor said that Madeline was not going to be able to clear the pubic bone and that he couldn't safely use the vacuum or forceps, so our only safe option was a Caesarean section (this is when the same weight guessing nurse said - "maybe she's bigger than we thought!").  WHAT!?  I was terrified of surgery.  I was exhausted.  I had a headache and I was sick on my stomach.  I was scared for my little girl.  All I wanted was a safe delivery.  Mom came back into the room and sat with Derek and me and they prayed with me and let me cry...no sob.  Val then gave the Anesthesiologist the "what for" and told him he better take care of us.  Bless her - I certainly wouldn't cross her. :)


So into the OR we go.  I saw the friendly, familiar faces of some of the nurses I had seen through the day, and they began to prep me and talk about how exciting it was to know that in just a few minutes, I would see my daughter for the first time.  By this point, I had accepted what was happening and was calm and collected. I just wanted Derek by my side and my sweet girl in my arms.  The spinal block wasn't my favorite.  Not because it hurt or was uncomfortable, but because it gave me uncontrollable, hard shakes and some nausea.  In fact, I threw up on the table.  Within minutes of Dr. Anthony beginning the procedure, I hear him say "well, there she is.  Ready to see her mom?"  And then - there she was.  He held her over the sheet and I heard her cry.  Which of course, brought on the water works for Derek and me.  She was here!  She was perfect.  And she was BIG!  8 lbs., 6 oz. and 20" long (take that, Nurse Guess-y).  As it turns out, when they opened me up, she was looking right at them, which, along with her size, is probably the reason she wasn't coming out vaginally. 


I can't even begin to explain what I felt at that moment.  This was the moment I had been waiting for for 9+ months.  Our child - this perfect blessing from God - was here.  She was safe and she was healthy.  Instant, intense love that simply can't be put into words flooded over me.  This had been the single most incredible experience of my life.


After delivery, I went to recovery and waited to meet my baby girl.  Derek and the family had been at the nursery with her, watching her get a bath (which she apparently loved!), so I got the full report when they came to the room.  And then here she was.  In her mama's arms.  Pure bliss.  Our family is whole.